It was one of those weekends.....when Mam and Dad hadn't been out together for so long. The Gremlins were packed off to the Grandparents, and we became the giggly children for a change - except we drank Budweiser not Fruit Shoot - danced on some tables, rode a cow, played a trumpet and puked out of a moving taxi. The following morning, tired, ill, dragging ourselves with banging heads to pick up our hyperactive little minions, we needed a place to go where they could run themselves silly in a safe environment while we put up our feet and snoozed behind dark glasses. We needed indoor soft play. Every parents' rescue remedy.
I asked the Gremlins: "Who wants to go to Giant's Den?".
I was met with a chorus of YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (owww...head)
Ever a popular choice.
After allowing them a breakfast of their choice, which included Refreshers, Hubba Bubbas and Chuppa Chups, their little legs bouncing with E numbers, we set off for a couple of hours of dangling, running, jumping, climbing, kicking, driving, throwing and sliding. For the kids. We planned on resting our heads.
Giants Den is based on the Team Valley in Gateshead and is 15,000sq feet of climbing frames, crash mats, slides, ball pools, go-karts, football, rides, machines and play equipment. Its open 7 days per week from 9am - 7.30pm. There is a short two-storey play area for aged 3 and under and a large three-storey play area for the over 4s. Though my daughter has played in the over 4s area since the age of 2 because she has no sense of danger and enjoys launching herself head first at, off and into things. Once, I had to climb two stories and squeeze myself through a tunnel that a spaniel would be too big for, to pull her to me by her legs because she face planted a wrecking ball. Though her favourite trick is launching herself upside down, back to front or head first down the blue wiggly slide, because in leggings she much reach at least 50mph as she ploughs into anyone unfortunate enough to be stood at the bottom, like a human bowling ball. The only time I tend to see the Gremlins is when they need hydration and introduce me to their "new best friend".
He looks at me like that's the most stupid question in the world and says "I dunno. Can he come on holiday with us? I love him."
Its also a place for grown ups to make new friends, especially of the male variety. If you're a single parent, on a Sunday morning its a popular hangout for weekend dads.
Giants Den also do birthday parties. Owen's fourth birthday involved an hour of screaming and running around, a 70s disco, party games, food and a visit from the Giant himself, which was a petrifying experience for most of the adults never mind the kids! The Giant is a ceiling high inflatable with a person in it (somewhere) who bounces off the walls in an attempt to meet and scare the crap out of all the children. Fearless Ava nearly base jumped from her high chair in terror when she clapped eyes on him, and spent the rest of his visit burying her face in my boobs. The party games were good though, and seeing all the kids bopping away in multi-coloured wigs was rather amusing.
BEST BITS ACCORDING TO THE GREMLINS:
* Owen: Giants Den is good because it has cool stuff like the slides and I always make lots of friends.
* Ava: Wunning awound.
BEST BITS ACCORDING TO MAM AND DAD:
* When they get over the age of about 3, you can happily put your feet up and let them crack on.
* Good for a rainy day when they have cabin fever and you need to let them run off some energy before they scale the walls or shave the dog.
IFFY BITS:
* They charge an entry fee per adult. The equipment is for children under the age of 12, who obviously wouldn't be turning up without a
grown up (you would hope). I certainly have no intention of climbing three stories of soft play and I don't fit down the green tunnel slide anymore so why the hell should I have to pay to get in?!
* Its not that cheap - especially if you have more than one child to take. And the cost goes up at the weekend and during school holidays.TIPS:
* Wear a jumper. Its blooming freezing in there. They obviously blast the air conditioning to help cool down the sweaty ones.
* Take a book or magazine or a friend so you don't get bored while the tots run wild.
* If you do decide to join in with the Gremlins, wear trousers and long sleeves unless you enjoy friction burns.
* Go in the morning when its quiet. Its hard to get a table around lunchtime on a weekend. This is also the time that most people have birthday parties so the place can get quite busy.
* Take your own snacks and drinks to save a couple of quid. You're not supposed to, but I haven't been challenged yet...
MINTNESS (out of 5 *):
*** Value for Money
***** Fun Factor (for the kids)
* Fun Factor (for the adults). Not much to do for grown ups but a good place to recover or catch up on your reading.
COST:
£10.40 Admission for one adult, one 7yr old, one 3yr old
Took our own snacks and drinks so didn't use the café and didn't pay for any machines on this occasion. Ran past them all and told the Gremlins they were all broken because the Giant sat on them...
£10.40 TOTAL
www.thegiantsden.co.uk
