The Cinema

Cup-holders, Chickens and Chatterboxes....

I took the Gremlins to an "Autism-friendly" screening at my local Cineworld. The idea of an Autism-friendly screening is that the lights remain low - instead of the room being in almost complete darkness - the volume is not as high, there are little or no adverts/trailers, people are tolerant if you talk or make a noise and you can take your own drinks and snacks. I take my own drinks and snacks anyway...but this time I didn't have to sneak them in!

Dad said: "Do you think we stand out because we're the only family here who don't have a child with a disability?"

As the words left his mouth, Owen tucked his hands into his jumper and started to flap his arms: "Look Mam I'm a chicken!" he squawked.

I gave Dad "the eyes".

The lack of adverts was great as it meant that Ava only bounced her seat up and down about fifty times before she settled down with her bum in the gap and her legs up by her chin to watch the film. Her tiny body wasn't heavy enough to keep the seat down but when I offered to keep my hand on her chair so that she could sit properly, she insisted she was happy with her legs in the air so I just left her that way.

Before the film had started, it was already the most successful trip to the cinema we'd had. The first time we took Owen to see a film, we got as far as the ticket desk when he projectile vomited all over the counter, floor, himself and Dad. I had to strip him naked in the toilets and wrap him up in Dad's coat to get him back in the car, leaving the poor Saturday Boy to absorb the puke in layers of blue roll.

One time Owen and Dad went to see a film with Owen's friend. His friend got his arm stuck in the cup holder and screamed the room down while Dad was unable to help him because he was too busy howling with laughter!

A few weeks ago, I took Owen and three friends to see The Nut Job (on my own - how brave am I?!)...though I didn't get to see much of the film as they each decided they needed the toilet one after the other. Once I'd brought the fourth one back, the first one would need to go again, like a conveyor belt of piddle.

However this trip to see Paddington was the most successful trip yet. Ava only talked through about half of the film and there were only three wee breaks in total, so I got to see about 80% of the film, which is good! What I saw I enjoyed - as did the kids.

(Ava with her popcorn order above!)


BEST BITS ACCORDING TO THE GREMLINS:
* Ava: Popcorn!
* Owen: When Paddington cleaned his ears with the toothbrush then licked it! (Followed by lots of rolling on the floor with laughter)

BEST BITS ACCORDING TO MAM AND DAD:
* Dad: The trailers. Its my favourite part.
* Autism friendly screenings are great for kids as well as for people with autism or disabilities as the crowd is more tolerant, you can see what you're doing when you take the kids for their 20th wee/poo/ snack break and you skip all the car and mobile phone adverts.

IFFY BITS:
* Cost of snacks and drinks. When will cinemas learn that most people bring their own because their prices are ridiculous? They'd make more profit in the long run if their nachos didn't cost the same as a small car.
* Queues. For some reason is takes about 10minutes to pour a large diet coke. At least that's what it can feel like when your film starts in thirty seconds and you've been waiting forever for the person in front of you to decide between "one scoop or two scoops".
* My personal pet hate - people playing on their mobile phones when the film has started. I feel my crazy level rise rapidly.

TIPS:
* Buy your tickets online. At Cineworld you get an online discount, you skip the queues and you can pick which seats you want.
* Also to keep the cost down, try 2-4-1 Orange Wednesday cinema tickets, or look for deals at your local cinema. Most usually offer discounted rates at off-peak times or for morning screenings. Many cinemas charge £1pp for kids films on a Saturday morning.
* Take your own snacks and drinks to save money and avoid the queues.
* If your child is a chatterbox, maybe wait until they're old enough to develop technology-locked-in-syndrome before attempting a cinema trip - otherwise you won't get to hear much of the movie.
* Make sure you all go to the loo before the film starts and limit all fluids!

MINT-NESS (out of 5 *):

*****   Value for money - if you book a discounted screening and take your own snacks

**         Value for money - if you book a regular screening and buy theirs

***       Fun factor - great for the movie buff

COST:

£26.66      Family ticket at Cineworld for a regular screening, bought online
£2.99        Small popcorn
£29.65      TOTAL

www.cineworld.co.uk